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Funny Christmas Quotes To Enhance Your Holidays

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Christmas is a time of joy, love, and laughter, and it's no wonder why it's often referred to as the most wonderful time of the year. From decorating the tree to indulging in delicious treats, there's no shortage of fun activities to enjoy during this festive season. Ultimately, the joy and fun of Christmas lie in the moments we create and share with loved ones. Whether it's gathering around a crackling fireplace, sipping hot cocoa, or engaging in playful snowball fights, the spirit of Christmas brings out the childlike wonder and happiness in all of us.

'Tis the season to be jolly, and what better way to spread the holiday cheer than with laughter? We've gathered an assortment of funny and witty Christmas quotes that are sure to tickle your funny bone and brighten your spirits. From humorous takes on classic Christmas carols to witty one-liners about the holiday season, these quotes are guaranteed to bring joy, giggles, and plenty of merriment. So sit back, relax, and get ready to snort with laughter as we take you on a comical journey through the festive season. Whether you're looking for a funny caption for your holiday card or just want a good laugh, we've got you covered. So let's dive in and embrace the mirth and merriment of Christmas with our collection of hilarious quotes!

 

Table of Contents

Funny Quotes for Christmas

These funny quotes are perfect for spreading some holiday cheer and sharing a laugh with family and friends during the festive season. Enjoy the merriment and have a jolly Christmas!

1.  The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George CarlinFunny Quotes for Christmas

2.  Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money. - Unknown

3.  You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. - Maya Angelou

4.  I'm only a morning person on December 25th. - Unknown

5.  Christmas: The only time of the year you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks. - Unknown

6.  The awkward moment when Santa gets stuck in the chimney...and it wasn't even your house. - Unknown

7.  The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear...unless you're singing Mariah Carey's high notes. - Unknown

8.  Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever. - Richelle E. Goodrich

9.  Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases. - Andy Borowitz

10. My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. - Bob Hope

11. I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. - Henny Youngman

12. Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not included. - Unknown

13. Santa saw your Instagram posts. You're getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas. - Unknown

14. The only fruitcake you should be eating this Christmas is the one in your Aunt Edna's traditional recipe. - Unknown

15. I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I'll drink the red. - Unknown

Short Funny Christmas Quotes

Hope these funny short Christmas quotes make you laugh and add some humor to your holiday season! Enjoy and have a jolly Christmas!

1.  I put Santa on a diet, but he just keeps eating cookies!Short Funny Christmas Quotes

2.  Christmas calories don't count... right?

3.  Dear Santa, define 'nice.'

4.  The only workout I do during the holidays is running out of wrapping paper.

5.  I'm dreaming of a white Christmas... but if the white runs out, I'll drink the red!

6.  When someone asks if you're ready for Christmas... and you realize it's only May.

7.  Who needs snowflakes when you have confetti? Merry Christmas!

8.  All I want for Christmas is... a nap!

9.  Christmas shopping is just like regular shopping, but without a budget!

10. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is by singing loud for all to hear... or by giving them cookies!

11. I'm only a morning person on December 25th.

12. The best present I could receive is your presence... and maybe some chocolate too!

13. A Christmas tree is just a fancy way to show off your collection of random ornaments.

14. December is when the empty boxes under the tree are more exciting than the gifts!

15. May your days be merry and bright... and may your WiFi signal always be strong!

Funny Christmas Quotes About Drinking

Choose from the below funny Christmas quotes about drinking add some humor to your celebrations. Merry Christmas and cheers!

  1. All I want for Christmas is a shopping cart full of wine.

  2. I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I'll drink the red.Funny Christmas Quotes About Drinking

  3. The tree isn't the only thing getting lit this year.

  4. Dear Santa, I've been good all year. Well, most of the time. Ok, once in a while. Screw it, I'll buy my own damn presents.

  5. Jesus drank wine, so it's technically part of my religion. I'm just a good Christian.

  6. I'm not saying I'm going to get drunk on Christmas Eve, but reindeer better buckle up.

  7. Rudolph's nose is red because he's been hitting Santa's eggnog too hard.

  8. Let's get Blitzened!

  9. I'm only a morning person on December 26th... once I've had my mimosa.

  10. I'm dreaming of a wine Christmas.

  11. Don't get your tinsel in a tangle... unless you're talking about those wine corkscrew sculptures.

  12. Christmas calories don't count if you're drinking them.

  13. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is by buying a round of drinks for everyone here.

  14. Tis the season to be tipsy.

  15. This Christmas, let's celebrate getting through the year with lots of beer.

Funny Christmas Quotes from Movies

These funny Christmas movie quotes are sure to bring some laughter to your holiday season. Enjoy watching these classic films and have a joyful Christmas!

1.  Buddy, the elf. What's your favorite color? - Elf (2003)Funny Christmas Quotes from Movies

2.  I triple-dog-dare you! - A Christmas Story (1983)

3.  Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal! - Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

4.  Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see. - The Polar Express (2004)

5.  My dad says that Santa Claus is just a fat, hairy man. But I think he's real, and I think he's inside the mall. - The Santa Clause (1994)

6.  I don't know what to say, but it's Christmas, and we're all in misery. - National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

7.  We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup. - Elf (2003)

8.  You smell like beef and cheese, you don't smell like Santa. - Elf (2003)

9.  Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he? - It's a Wonderful Life (1946)

10. I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle! - A Christmas Story (1983)

11. I'm not sure. I'll either end up in heaven or hell, and I'm fine with either. - Bad Santa (2003)

12. This is extremely important. Will you please tell Santa that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back. - Home Alone (1990)

13. If you can't find the perfect gift, just give 'em cash. Cash never embarrasses anybody. - Jingle All the Way (1996)

14. Just remember, the true spirit of Christmas lies in your heart. - The Grinch (2000)

15. Looks like a Christmas tree exploded in here! - Christmas with the Kranks (2004)

Funny Christmas Wishes for Coworkers

Explore these humorous and funny Christmas wishes for coworkers add some joy and laughter to your workplace celebrations this holiday season!

  1. Wishing you all the joy and cheer of the season, and a well-deserved break from our annoying boss. Merry Christmas!Funny Christmas Wishes for Coworkers

  2. May your Christmas be as stress-free as possible, and your emails from the boss be few and far between. Happy Holidays!

  3. May your eggnog be spiked and your work days be short. Merry Christmas!

  4. Wishing you a holiday filled with joy, laughter, and minimal awkward interactions in the break room. Have a great Christmas!

  5. Here's to hoping your Christmas bonus is more than a fruitcake from the boss. Cheers and Happy Holidays!

  6. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, filled with less meetings and more office parties!

  7. May your Christmas be filled with lots of coffee and minimal work calls. Enjoy the holiday season!

  8. Wishing you a Christmas that's more fun than filing reports. Happy Holidays!

  9. May your Christmas break be longer than our team meetings. Enjoy the time off, and Merry Christmas!

  10. Here's to hoping Santa brings you everything you wished for, including an extra week of vacation time. Happy Holidays!

  11. Wishing you a holiday season that's as amazing as you make our team. Have a very Merry Christmas!

  12. May your Christmas be filled with laughter, office pranks, and minimal stress. Happy Holidays to a great coworker!

  13. Wishing you all the holiday cheer you can handle, and may the boss never catch you on your phone. Have a fun and cheerful Christmas!

  14. May your Christmas season be filled with good food, good friends, and minimal overtime. Enjoy the holiday season!

  15. Wishing you a Christmas that's as awesome as you are, and a New Year that doesn't require any awkward ice breakers. Cheers to a great coworker!

Funny Christmas Carol Quotes

Here are some funny Christmas carol quotes bring a smile to your face and add some humor to your holiday season!

1.  Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way... unless it's after midnight, then please don't jingle.Funny Christmas Carol Quotes

2.  Deck the halls with boughs of holly... and lots of eggnog, of course!

3.  Silent night, holy night... until the kids wake up at 5 am on Christmas morning.

4.  We wish you a Merry Christmas and a credit card with no limit, so you can buy all the presents you want!

5.  Frosty the Snowman, was a jolly, happy soul... until he realized he had no pockets to keep his carrot nose in place.

6.  Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose, and all the other reindeer used to laugh and call him party animal.

7.  Oh, bring us some figgy pudding, but make sure it's diet-friendly, we're watching our holiday weight.

8.  Santa Claus is coming to town, and he's bringing his naughty and nice list. Time to start bribing!

9.  I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, but not the kind where I have to shovel snow.

10. Feliz Navidad, prospero año y felicidad... and lots of delicious tamales, please!

11. Joy to the world, the Lord has come... and brought an endless supply of Christmas cookies!

12. Up on the housetop reindeer pause... until they remember they forgot to use the bathroom before takeoff.

13. Rockin' around the Christmas tree, have a happy holiday... just watch out for falling ornaments, they're not meant for dancing on branches.

14. All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth... and a good dental insurance plan.

15. Grandma got run over by a reindeer... because she forgot to leave out milk and cookies for Santa.

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